Depression and overcoming it!

For years I have battled depression, it seems to come and go and when it comes it seems out of nowhere and hits me like a sledgehammer!  I am learning over this last month that exercise is essential for me to keeping that depression at bay.  There is something about being on the treadmill that makes it drain away.  It makes me feel good and gives me the confidence I need to make it through another day!
I am a mom of three small kids and my husband works long hours a lot of the time, which means for me that I do not always make it to the gym when I want to.  I know you can work out at home and I do at times but it doesn't compare in the least to what I get out of the gym!  Because of this I am going to be searching for a used treadmill, I cannot afford one brand new!  Well,  I probably cant even afford a used one but I think it is of MAJOR importance to me surviving my life and losing this weight to begin a new life.
Not all people can understand what it is like to be so overweight, as a matter of fact you cant even begin to comprehend unless you've been in the same position.  It takes a toll on a person in several ways, of course physically it kills you daily.  Your feet hurt, you are always out of breath and almost any physical exertion makes you feel like your dying.  Emotionally you feel like a failure, like you are never going to be good enough for anything, you see yourself the same as you think others see you, fat and worthless.  Mentally it drags you down constantly, thinking you will always be this way, that you don't have the strength to change it and then in begins to drag you down, down, down into a depression so deep you think you'll never get out.
And people wonder why overweight people keep eating and "don't want to be healthy", Ive heard that so many times.  It isn't that we DON'T want to be healthy and happy.  Its that the world we live in is such despair we don't have the strength to try.  For some even after trying it is a let down, they can work their butts off and not see the results they desire and that pushes them back down.
For myself, I have realized what I need is little daily encouragements to keep me going.  I need to see the pounds coming off even if it is half a pound at a time.  I need to put on a pair of jeans and realize I didn't have to lay on the bed to button them.  I need to have people see and acknowledge that I am trying and working so very hard at my goals.  All of these things play a part in helping to get someone committed to losing...pounds! 
I feel like I'm rambling, just a lot on my mind.  The end result of all of the rambling... Please do not give up.  I am not going to and nobody else should either.  If we all band together as family, friends and even acquaintances, we can accomplish anything!
So go out today, compliment someone, improve someone Else's day because by paying it forward, it will get back to us.